Opt for …

A lot of women tend to opt for husband’s family name but Why? 

This idea come up from the this article by Parker Molloy. 

I am married and naturally I took my husband’s last name. My original name was amazing because my name was palindrome. So I was a little sad to change my last name and I also feel not being myself anymore. That’s one of life-transforming things for me. 

There’s a family register system in Japan. When I get married, my husband and I had to make it. If we will have a kid in near future, have our kid’s name in the register. My parents had it too. However, my mother passed away and her name was already deleted and both my sister and I have had family registers with our husbands so we were also deleted in their family register. Sadly only my father is in the register. 

A lot of women take husband’s last name and I really hate this system. I feel like I am tied down by the system. At wedding, we usually wear a white wedding dress and a colored dress in ceremony. But I didn’t wear a colored dress.  Wearing colored dress means taking on husband family’s style. Instead of it, I choose two way white dress. So, changing last name means a lot in Japan.  Common law marriage is ok for me but if we do that,  we can’t take full of social welfare and if we have a kid, we can’t joint custody. One parent only have custody. If parents divorce, they can’t joint custody neither. It’s so strange rule but I believe because of the system. A kid’s name can’t be in Family register for neither mother and father.There is no hyphenated name in Japan but I hope I could use it. Then I wouldn’t feel like not being myself. 

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2 thoughts on “Opt for …

    • Hi Debi, we can’t hyphenate the kid’ s name, neither. That’s so strange rule. About family register system , there’s another example. My aunt (my mom’s older sister ), she took he r maiden name since she got married to my uncle it’s because to keep her last name arrive. So my uncle took my aunt’s last name. Japanese people tend to think it’s important to keep last name.

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