My husband and I joined daddy’s class which was our city managed for free. The class was once every two weeks and total 4 classes and only 10 families were allowed to attend. Basically this purpose was for a relationship between fathers and kids and for mother, we had a table talk having a coffee in a different room without them. It was super cool system ! I’ll write about a little bit about the class by my perceptive.
Here is the class structures.
Day 1st Daddy –>How to play with kids. Mommy–>Table talk.
Day 2nd Daddy –>How to play with kids. Mommy–>Table talk.
Day 3rd Mommy–>How to play with kids. Daddy–>Table talk.
Day 4th Daddy –>How to play with kids. Mommy–>Table talk.
- The outcome of my husband and my son
My husband learned what makes our son happy. He liked to play with our son but didn’t know how to contact our son. When he did the same thing to our son like I did, our son didn’t look smile and which made him stressed. Since he joined the class, appearantly our son started to smile more and more with him. He thought that he should do the same things with me but even though we did the same things, our son recognized the difference between mommy and daddy and our son is comfortable with mommy because we spend all day together but daddy doesn’t. So what our son likes are created by mommy. Therefore he stopped doing the same things like me and has been trying things on his own. Now they seem to have a strong bond without me.
- Relationship between a husband and a wife.
Yes, since we had a kid, our relationship has changed. I focus on child raising and he focuses on work. There’s no time to have just 2 of us and I found it out that I’m so stressed out about the relationship. I was irritated without reasons to him and felt what he did wasn’t enough for me and felt like that I’m the only one 24 hours mom without husband/daddy. In the talk table, one word “Daddy’s depression” beated me. Daddy’s depression is that daddy who wants to be involved with rising a child and errands and chores but doesn’t know where he starts and the worst case is that daddy start to be scared to go home seeing upsetting mommy or daddy is doing the best for his family but actually it’s too much for him in the case his company isn’t understanding about being daddy or he can’t say it to his wife. After the class I heared of the word, I asked my husband if he was suffering from it. His answer is ＂Not at all, and you’re too intense on it. ＂. I was so relieved! We decided to have a more time to talk. It was a great opportunity to think about a relationship with my partner. Having a kid is a good change, but you definately lost your mind sometimes and starts not be able to see your partner. We never see it coming.
- Conversation at table talk for mommy
We talked about how our life changed since we got married. Most mommies thought that their husbands didn’t change thier lifestyle a lot but everything fell on a wife and a mother. We described what makes our daily life now.
My daily life is ….
50% as a mother, 20% as a wife, 10% as a woman, 5% as daughter, 5% as daughter-in-law, 10% as social activities.
I was workholic before and now “as a mother” took over it. I’m planning going back to work with flexible work hours. My son will be at a daycare and I will work, which is ok but I’m 100%sure emotionally hard. I will feel guilty and have to fight the feeling all the time. How about father? He can continue to focus on work, but as a wife % will decreased, so hopefully he supports me more. For the starter, he should cut off playing smartphone game time. Mobile game is a serious issue this each family. Father should know that they can’t make their babies sleep holding thier smartphones. I was so glad to talk about it with other moms. As a woman, I’m not fashionable and I don’t put make up on everyday. But I try do my best on skin care. As a daughter, my home is far from her so just 5%. As a daughter-in-law is only 5% but this is the my best. More than 11% is overwork for me. Keep good distance ! About social activities, I go outside alone at least once a month because of dentist appointment. After dentist, I meet my friends and destress! Except that opportunity, I can do anything on the weekend. So, I enjoy my free time pretty much. So my husband also try to do his best. I explained this analysis to my husband. We got a great opportunity to review our life style and especially after I’m back to work.
We did a drawing exercise which we drew lines and symbols as instructed. It was so simple but each of us made a different drawing. It came down to this! People has a different view and sometimes what you tell your partner isn’t a perfect way to tell him/her. Since I heard of it, I’ve thought about the way I tell him to make him understand.
I appreciate this class. We’re new parents and have a plenty of questions about a kid. However I realized that if a relationship between us were going well, most of the questions would be solved. Raising a kid needs an energy and it’s hard. But our son can’t be replaced with other. I really want to make a circumstance for him, but also for my husband. Sometimes I forgot that we were working on fertility treatment to have our son. My husband took surgery to cure the problem and I delivered him by C-section. We’d gone through a hard path. Through this class, I had a flashback all of things about it. As a parent, As a wife, I’m not good enough but I’m 100% sure I’m happy to be with my husband and my son.