Daddy’s class

My husband and I joined daddy’s class which was our city managed for free. The class was once every two weeks and total 4 classes and only 10 families were allowed to attend. Basically this purpose was for a relationship between fathers and kids and for mother, we had a table talk having a coffee in a different room without them. It was super cool system ! I’ll write about a little bit about the class by my perceptive.

Here is the class structures.

Day 1st Daddy –>How to play with kids. Mommy–>Table talk.

Day 2nd Daddy –>How to play with kids. Mommy–>Table talk.

Day 3rd Mommy–>How to play with kids. Daddy–>Table talk.

Day 4th Daddy –>How to play with kids. Mommy–>Table talk.

  • The outcome of my husband and my son

My husband learned what makes our son happy. He liked to play with our son but didn’t know how to contact our son. When he did the same thing to our son like I did, our son didn’t look smile and which made him stressed. Since he joined the class, appearantly our son started to smile more and more with him. He thought that he should do the same things with me but even though we did the same things, our son recognized the difference between mommy and daddy and our son is comfortable with mommy because we spend all day together but daddy doesn’t. So what our son likes are created by mommy. Therefore he stopped doing the same things like me and has been trying things on his own. Now they seem to have a strong bond without me.

  • Relationship between a husband and a wife.

Yes, since we had a kid, our relationship has changed. I focus on child raising and he focuses on work. There’s no time to have just 2 of us and I found it out that I’m so stressed out about the relationship. I was irritated without reasons to him and felt what he did wasn’t enough for me and felt like that I’m the only one 24 hours mom without husband/daddy. In the talk table, one word “Daddy’s depression” beated me. Daddy’s depression is that daddy who wants to be involved with rising a child and errands and chores but doesn’t know where he starts and the worst case is that daddy start to be scared to go home seeing upsetting mommy or daddy is doing the best for his family but actually it’s too much for him in the case his company isn’t understanding about being daddy or he can’t say it to his wife.  After the class I heared of the word, I asked my husband if he was suffering from it. His answer is "Not at all, and you’re too intense on it. ". I was so relieved! We decided to have a more time to talk. It was a great opportunity  to think about a relationship with my partner. Having a kid is a good change, but you definately lost your mind sometimes and starts not be able to see your partner. We never see it coming.

  • Conversation at table talk for mommy

We talked about how our life changed since we got married. Most mommies thought that their husbands didn’t change thier lifestyle a lot but everything fell on a wife and a mother. We described what makes our daily life now.

My daily life is ….

50% as a mother, 20% as a wife, 10% as a woman, 5% as daughter, 5%  as daughter-in-law, 10% as social activities.

I was workholic before and now “as a mother” took over it. I’m planning going back to work with flexible work hours. My son will be at a daycare and I will work, which is ok but I’m 100%sure emotionally hard. I will feel guilty and have to fight the feeling all the time. How about father? He can continue to focus on work, but as a wife % will decreased, so hopefully he supports me more. For the starter, he should cut off playing smartphone game time. Mobile game is a serious issue this each family. Father should know that they can’t make their babies sleep holding thier smartphones. I was so glad to talk about it with other moms. As a woman, I’m not fashionable and I don’t put make up on everyday. But I try do my best on skin care. As a daughter, my home is far from her so just 5%. As a daughter-in-law is only 5% but this is the my best. More than 11% is overwork for me. Keep good distance ! About social activities, I go outside alone at least once a month because of dentist appointment. After dentist, I meet my friends and destress! Except that opportunity, I can do anything  on the weekend. So, I enjoy my free time pretty much.  So my husband also try to do his best. I explained this analysis to my husband.  We got a great opportunity to review our life style and especially after I’m back to work.

We did a drawing exercise which we drew lines and symbols as instructed. It was so simple but each of us made a different drawing. It came down to this!  People has a different view and sometimes what you tell your partner isn’t a perfect way to tell him/her. Since I heard of it, I’ve thought about the way I tell him to make him understand.

  • Feedback

I appreciate this class. We’re new parents and have a plenty of questions about a kid. However I realized that if a relationship between us were going well, most of the questions would be solved. Raising a kid needs an energy and it’s hard. But our son can’t be replaced with other. I really want to make a circumstance for him, but also for my husband. Sometimes I forgot that we were working on fertility treatment to have our son. My husband took surgery to cure the problem and I delivered him by C-section. We’d gone through a hard path. Through this class, I had a flashback all of things about it. As a parent,  As a wife, I’m not good enough but I’m 100% sure I’m happy to be with my husband and my son. 

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

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    Someday

    Since I graduated from high school and left my hometown, it’s a been 12 year. I got used to live in big city and made a lot of friends here.  Many experiences has grew me up  and I’ve met many very nice people.

    However, I’ve been always miss my hometown. Someday I want to live in my hometown again. I keenly feel the importance of my family 👪 and my husband is not so close to his family and his relatives. But he gets along with my family so it’s possible to go back to my hometown with him. 

    We have just embarked on our new chapter in our life. There will be bunch of amazing things ahead😁

    Gene

    Through childbirth, I thought about DNA because a same thing happened to me like my mother was suffered. I was healthy pregnant woman but it wasn’t right. 

    My doctor told me that I was dignosed with hypertension due to pregnancy. My mother had the same problem so I was born with 1.9kgs. 

    Inducting drag was started on Oct 18 and on Oct 20, I had fever,  high- blood pressure and water break. Once water break happens, infection would start within 24 hours. My doctor told me that we should do c-section to save you and your baby. I felt groggy and didn’t remember his explanation. I only felt stuff moved with a rushed way. My c-section was over safely but I had an another problem about rupid beat. It was way fast and doctors were curiosa about it. So now, I took a medicine for my pulse. I was like what’s happening to my body? The medicine for my pulse don’t let me give him breast milk. 

    I also have to take antibiotic 3 times a day by drip. My blood vessels are way narrow, so nurses use needle of drip for kids. My mother had narrow blood vessels and used needle for kids. My face and my body have got her gene perfectly. 

    Lunch box

    My cousin has three kids in junior high, elementary school and preschool. Most Japanese school has sports festival in autum. This year, thier sports festivals were held three weeks in a row. This is hard for mother out there. Student family goes see it with lunch box  for family and family invites guests, too. Hence, our lunch box became like this. 


    Menus are …. Rice balls,Bean cake, fried shrimp,fried meat,fried egg, salad, sandwich, Edamame, boiled shrimp, candied sweet potato, Boiled egg , simmered dish and so on. To make everything,  my cousin, her mother(my aunt) and I had to get up at 4 in the morning. Usually I don’t help them but now I’m back in my hometown so, I had to !

    I appreciate my mother  who did to my sister and me for every sports festival and usual lunch box. Her cooking was delicious and looked  colorful. Even my friends remember how it looked like. It impressed them very much with it. I believe that making fabulous lunch box is also showing love from mother. I’m going to do same things to my son. The time I can do to him is very short because a kid will grow up soon. I also learn a lot of things from my aunt(my mother’s older sister). She treats us like her daughters. I know her love that’s why l love my nephew and my niece more than needs 💖 

    Friendly level 

    Do you have someone who have a kid and thier relationship is strangely too close?  I watched TV show and the topic was relationship between parents and the problem is that parents can’t scold thier kid and they read the kid’s expression, which mean they can’t educate properly. 

    As thought of my parents, they loved so much and especially I had a good relationship with my mom. She took care of me and my sister and always told us what a problem was and what a good thing was. We were never like friends and never exist blurring the line between a parent and a kid. 

    In the TV show, the following topics were came up. 

    1. Dressing together 

    I dressed together when I was a little with my mom. It was a good memory. But I didn’t do that when I grew up. Recent daughter and mother tend to wear same cloths. Daughter is happy because they look like friends and mother is happy because she look young. I think if my mom does the same thing, I’d really hate it. She’d have her own style. 

    2.  Kids decide theirs job by talking to thier parents and employers also talk to parents before hiring them. 

    This topic got me freak out. Kids have to take responsibility for thier life themselves. Parents can give them advices but it shouldn’t influence their decision. There are called “monster  parents”, so employers have time to meet thier parents, otherwise, some parents sue company if something bad happens to kids. I thought this society is really twisted. 

    I’m pregnant with my first baby. I realized that relationship with my kid is very important. Support and over-protect might be paper line. I really talk to my husband about this. 

    Baby bib!! 

    I sew baby bibs by hand. All materials were from one dollar shop. This time,they are reversible. I have to level up to the next level. What I’m going to make ?  

    Baby bib No.1 One side is frog.

    Baby bib No.1 Another side is polka dot.

    Baby bib No.2 One side is printed car.

    Baby bib No.2 Another side is polka dot.

    Matanity girdle 

    My pregnant life is now 5 months.  YEY!! Everything is going well so far. 

    Last weekend I’ve got maternity girdle from my grandmother and my anty. There is practice that 5 month pregnant-woman go to a shrine with maternity girdle to pray an easy birth on the day of dog which is a lucky day of childbirth.   A dog’s delivery seems not so hard and Japanese people follow the example of it. They day comes every 12 days. 


    My anty already went to a shrine to pray for me, so I don’t have to go there myself. May 16 was the day of dog and I put maternity girdle on. This one has removable bands, so when I sleep, I take it out .  This weekend I have an ultrasound ! I really hope I know the sex of baby.