Memory

I’ve been organaizing my parents’ things. There’re many good memories  and things I don’t want to dump but I can’t keep them forever. Especially photos, I decided to keep some of them. Dumping things is good to clear my mind, too. 

Today, I was about to dump an important photo for my husband and me. If I didn’t notice it, I’d regret forever and couldn’t tell him. I’ll make sure to recheck what I’m going to dump. 


I love this photo but my losing weight plan was failed and the day before my wedding, I had to size up my wedding dress. How embarrassed I was💔 and I’m short so I needed to put on 15cm heels. It was hard to walk but when I talked about this story to people, they laughed a lots and look happy, so it’s alright 😀

Satisfaction

Are you satisfied with show of love from your partner? Mine is….he is….vey kind. he could do more say something to me, compared to other men I know, he still can talk to me directly and show his love to me. He’s a typical and advanced Japanese  man. 

Yesterday, TV show brought up a topic “Should Japanese men show enough love to thier partners? ” . There are some foreigner trend spotters and said “Not enough!”. Japanese is good at reading atmosphere and people’s mind without convesation. Are we super person or something ? 

In English, people say “I love you ” but not “I like you “. In Japanese , people tend to say “I like you”as show of love. It’s language matter and some of trend spotters pointed it out “Why use LIKE? It’s same when we say I like a dog ” . It’s true.  Japanese language has “love” and many people don’t choose it all the time.  Some Japanese women don’t want men to use “I love you ” more than they need because of value of word. If men often use “I love you”, women get used to it and romantic mood is gone. I think “I love you” is a proper word for my husband. Except my husband, I can’t use it.  

In the show, attitude of Japanese women is focused ! When men throw bouquets,attitude of Japanese women is so cold and gruff. It might be true and you could say Japanese women are humble. And too much weight on being a mother and not being a wife. That attitude cause husband to cheat on his wife. 

 people with honesty is important. Doing something without asking make a trouble. Show of Love is what need to continue life with a partner. It’s not only men problem, but also women.

Loved one💖

  

Jan 22 was my birthday. I turned 30! Yes new capture will begin! I took a half day off and a great time with my husband today. We went to a new place to buy cloth and had dinner at a multinational restaurant . After we got home, he suddenly gave me 11 roses ! The flower language is “Loved one” ! Flower language of rose changes depends on how many roses. 

1 rose -> Fall in love at first sight 
3 roses -> I love you 

7 roses -> Secret love

11 roses -> Loved one 

99 roses -> Forever love 

108 roses -> Marry me

999 roses ->Want to be with you in my next life 

I didn’t know the meaning! He is such a romantist! Appreciate his treat ! I love this man so much. 

Fragile

 

Photo credit : foter

 
Recently Ashley Madison hack is now huge problem. I was just so surprised that many people signed up and they had an affair behind partner’s back. This was not only leaking identification but also security issue. 

I’ve read an article about two women who used Ashley Madson in different ways.

One person searched for her fiancé name in dumped data and there was his account. The moment must have been shocking beyond my expectation.  Eventually the wedding they had been planning was cancelled. The whole experience has been shattering and changed her life completely.  

Another person used the site to have an affair. She signed up but never messaged anyone and closed down. But six months ago,she created another and found someone to talk. They were due to meet but at the moments she called it off. She didn’t want to jeopardize her marriage. Now she has distracted with work for now but she feels stressed if her husband finds out  what she did. 

It’s been two years since I got married to my husband. I am not sure what’s happening in our life but I probably can’t continue life with duplicity and I’d definitely feel it’s unfair that I am hurt by him and waste time with him. And it’d be more shocking if he’s looking for someone on dating site. That’s totally different if she’s his colleague, friends and so on. 

It’s NOT my business about why they had to sign up and NO offense.     I just thought over my life and my family. My husband and I were originally others and the love tries to stay strong but it’s also fragile, depends on condition. 

Take a balance. 

Live in the lap of luxury(money) or raise a loving family(mind), you might want to get both when you get marriage.  However both choices are difficult to get at the same time. However, which would you opt for ?

The other day, I saw gossip about a male actor will leave his career because he’s going to take care of his father-in-law. His wife is very successful beautiful Japanese actress and get paid well and it’s more than he does. So their marriage was called “disparity marriage “. But they seems very happily married couple. They don’t have a kid but they enjoy their life and keep their good relationship.

Usually husband’s salary is less than his wife, at first, he can take care of housework but  he’s pride gradually ruin their marriage and at the end of the day, his wife is getting tired of both work and housework and it leads to them “divorce or separation. ”

According to a marriage counselor,  the couple clear about their purpose in their life. They opted for “raise a loving family” and they think about a stable balance of two in the family.  Conditions they can live together under the situation is the wife treats her husband with due respect and conveys thankfulness to him.

Men have a big damage when they know the reality that they rely on their wives financially. That’s not bad at all if they do housework  but  they feel it instinctively. Part of marriage is accommodating your partner’s feelings even when they are  unfounded. Money or mind, there’s no right answer what you choose. Life might become complicated by marriage but on the other hand, there’s great things as well. When you have problems in your family or partner, think about a balance, not about relationship.  You will see what is your roll.

Big step For the world 🌈

I am so happy to write about this ♥️🎉🎊✨

There was huge progress in same-sex marriage in the USA. I am not American but  I’m having a gratitude for the decision at the supreme court in the states and hope every gay people can have a husband or a wife and get a marriage liecense. 

Many  people had battled with previous law and stood up for their right. Now, they were rewarded🌹 The USA is the most powerful country in the world about economy, people and son on. I really hope many countries follow the USA including Japan. 

Recently two TV personalities tried to do same-sex marriage in Japan but thier marriage application was rejected because of the same-sex marriage. There are many Japanese people want to do the same thing but they can’t and I feel Japan isn’t ready understanding them. When I was in Canada, I met a wonderful female coworker who is bisexual. She told me that “At a gay bar, there are many Japanese people. How do you guys treat us in Japan? Because they seem like pretty relax living in Canada.  ”  In my view, we, Japanese realize the people who is gay but they don’t know how to treat them. TV personalities are different because they got popular because of gay and people think they are funny. But if public people come out, a reaction people around around them  is unpredictable. Actually I feel do NOT talk about this kind of topic to my husband and his family. They treat this like other people’s affairs and Japanese society is very conservative about taking care of this matter. So, it might take us long time to change the law. 

Things will never be the same – but the world is better for the years my beloved husband lived.
~From Sheryl Sandberg’s tribute~

Like Sheryl Sandberg’s message after her husband passed away, everyone has loved one and even though their partner passed away before the law changed, they would have thought as same as she said. 

Lasting good relationship 

How’s  your relationship with your partner ? Do you have a rule between you and your partner in busy daily life?  

I have a full time work and most of housework are taken care of by my mother-in-law. I am not a good wife but I want to work and I don’t want to quit and I ask for man and woman equality to my husband. I don’t know how he thinks about but at least he understands time has changed and he was have to adjust, which means he also have to do houseworks. Actually he does very much 😄

Since My husband and I have started fertilization treatment, our relation might changed for better way. The reality was pretty hard to accept and we talked about it over and over but we both knew how we think about our directionality. I recognized conversation is pretty important and I also massage his back and neck before going to bed. It’s pretty good becauss he can relax and we can talk so during the time we don’t argue! 

Lasting relationship is difficult. At wedding,we say “yes,I Do. “, and we all don’t know what’s coming in our life and there need to endure and there always is a conflict. Some people get tire of their life and some people could enjoy their life but it depends on you.

Please refer to the following article. 

http://www.businessinsider.com/lasting-relationships-rely-on-2-traits-2014-11?IR=T

After reading this article, I reflected on my attitude to my husband . I need more kindness and generosity. I am sure if he asked me “look at the bird,Maya” , I would say “Yes, the bied is frying.  ” with a dry tone. And that’s a type which can’t last marriage. So, I swear that I am going to be nice to him. I think small things are important like fixing his water bottle full of tea before he does. This morning, I did it and he said “Thank you !”. That’s a quick outcome and it’s vice versa, too. I have an attitude of gratitude to him and say “Thank you”. That might change out relationship and get much better 💝 If you have tips for marriage, please let me know😄